Healing Hearts: Scovil Family

Peter lived with a sense of the here and now but also the not yet. He firmly believed that when he died, he would go to Heaven and be with Jesus so death was not something he feared, ever. When we received the news that he had stage 4 colorectal cancer that night in the ER, we were stunned but not shaken. We met with Dr. Emery and Peter agreed to try chemotherapy but was very upfront with Dr. Emery from the very beginning. Peter understood there was no cure, no option for surgery, and wanted to have as much quality of life with the time we were going to be gifted. Dr. Emery was most respectful of this and Peter started treatments with a dose reduction because the medicines could have such negative side effects. After three months of therapy and two hospital stays, each one lasting a week, Peter decided that he was no longer going to do treatment. His quality of life was gone and he was not able to do much more than lay on the couch all day. Prior to our last oncology appointment, we met with Gail Phair from the Aroostook House of Comfort to become educated on hospice. After that meeting, we were all in and when we found out that Peter’s prognosis was 6 months, we asked to be referred for hospice services. This was a decision that we never regretted. Entering hospice care was not about dying, it was about us getting our lives back. 

After a couple of months, Peter began driving again, eating foods that had become unpalatable, enjoying his morning coffee, mowing the lawn, traveling, and in August, returning to his classroom at Caribou High School to begin his 33rd year of teaching. There was more than one occasion when I forgot that someday he would have to leave. Megan Bailey, our wonderful hospice nurse, came weekly and developed an amazing relationship and rapport with both of us, but especially Peter. They had inside jokes and he was completely at ease with her. Peter was very private but once you were in, you were in. Megan was always straightforward with us, a quality Peter possessed and endeared him to others. 

People too often hear “hospice,” think House of Comfort, and then, “oh, that poor person will be dead in two weeks or less.” I made it my mission when I told people Peter was in hospice, to dispel that myth. Hospice is all about living, by treating symptoms and pain, a life well lived with the time you have been gifted. We all have an expiration date, just some of us are acutely aware that it is going to be sooner rather than later. Hospice helps you navigate that time to make the most of each day, even the ordinary ones, like those days when you have to mow the lawn or get a haircut. 

Eight months after beginning hospice, it became Peter’s time to leave us. His final days were spent at the House of Comfort, exactly as he wanted. Everyone there made sure he was receiving the very best care in a setting that was as close to being at home as possible. Not only were his needs met, but those of Elizabeth, our daughter, and mine. We were cared for, listened to, and first and foremost, Peter’s wishes and dignity were attended to. 

We miss him but are comforted to know he is healed and with Jesus. Peter’s example and teachings help me as I figure out how to “adult” by myself, a new journey for me. Elizabeth and I talk about him and recount his many “Scovilisms.” He will always be part of us because his love is etched on our hearts. The staff at the House of Comfort continue to reach out to us to offer support as we grieve, a process that has no formula and is as different as people on the planet. We are so blessed to have the House of Comfort and we will be forever grateful.